Apathy Unlimited Volume II

Context of " Apathy Unlimited Vol II " based on virtual realities vs fantasies of my life. The full credit behind the solo destiny of Ekendra's road ahead in this tiny globe. His love with humanity, his love with electronics and his love of being atheist-- a vividity of explorable true-seem story. Please, do not read if you really don't want to denunciate, yes Comprehension is the best three degree solution of apathy but I am off the grass.

 

For volume one " Apathy Unlimited Vol I " refer to Archive Section of Ekendra's blog at http://ekendra.blogspot.com.

 

To my dearest S******,
To my LOVE and
To my DESTINY.

 

I used to think that I'm the ugliest man in the world, you know why???? I've very unmanaged face, a big nose, scattered teeth, impolite behavior, bad looking glasses and overall very unsocial nature, yes I'm still very unsocial.

I always think that no girl will be my fren including boys because whoever becomes my friends they all betryaed not exactly but they themselves leave me inspite of my own trial to maintain frenship. My frenship needs no promises because I die when promised are broken but I can cleary understand problems associated with promises and compromises.

I always aim high, one day i will be working in a multinational company and earn a lot to make my wife happy but I always see my fiancee and me living together forever- a marriage was a big no no. I always believe that I will be happiest after I'll be busy means I will have my girlfriend, a good paying job, respect and cordial relations with everyone. And I know I will have them including YOU my love.

 

Back to my life:

<Sakchhau bhane yo story lai dil ma save garnu tara dimag baata delete garnu>

Upto Class 5: Most probably that was the finest life I ever lived mind it not the best. You know what happens. I ranked 3rd in class 4 and first in 5. Everybody then viewed me with respect that I did nearly impossible- imagine how dull I was before. I've written a short biography about this I will post it in my website for you.

Classes 6 to 8: Recall that I am the product of a govt school till 5 and then continued/changed the school till 7 when I realise the school is not apt for me so I choosed a house-nearby boarding school to study again from class 6-- repeating 2 yrs of schooling. You might have heard of Motherland school in Masbar, Pokhara. I studied very well, I was a brilliant student then, all of sudden some people including the principal didn't liked me. I was a hero in front of most teachers, all school kids and friends, but I was never made FIRST inspite of my every effort. Whoever became first were provided scholarship ie no need to pay fees and I never got excluding once sharing the 1st position ever in my life. So I decided to leave the school to go to SOS Hermann Gmeiner Gandaki where I successfully topped the entrance and got admitted. But before that I tried many schools to be admitted but some good fellows from Motherland never permitted.

Classes 9 and 10: Brand new place in Rambazar SOS where most students took studying fun and few were serous abt including me. No one (few teachers and most classmates) believed me that I am good student. It was only when I appeared SLC I brust into tears that exam was not according to my vision. So I was desperate. My dad's target of 85 pc I could never achieved though I topped the whole school and the principal knew me for the first time when I went to the school for certificate. I was awarded by dad's office twice so many of Nepal Rastra Bank Pokhara Branch staffers take me as a very good boy. I respect everybody, no body is bad in my eyes. It is their behavior which sound bitter sometimes.

 

I can't recall how many classmates, friends and other school children yet repsect me, yes boosting some regard me as their ideal (plz go n ask them), and this permits me to dream of a BIG MAN. There are many people who wants me to do GREAT. See no more friends in my life, they all are gone.

 

Classes 11 and 12: Back to Kathmandu where I still try to forget myself in the world of noneness. I got to St Xavier's Kathmandu winning over many SLC students all over Nepal. But under TU I could hardly get destinction marks and my dad was unhappy. I was totally isolated and innocent when I met my life's greatest betryal of a case of great failure of BUCKS AND BUCKS. The sole reason for my migraine was that. I was sold out by my closest friend then.

 

All my friends blindly (I believe most) were trying for MBBS and other entrance preparations. In fact I was undetermined but I always wished to study something that makes me to have a laptop at my right side and a machine in the left and something very natural learning in front. I wanted to study English major or Engineering and something else but Bioinformatics has always been my subject of interests. And see where the world has lead me to. I tried medicine almost 16 times, engg almost 11 times, US twice, BSc each year and never appealed to any I don't know why I studied nothing for those 2 and a half years. I think whatever happens, happens for good and its YOU my love to made me think so. THINK POSITIVE.

 

Idol Years: Around 2.5 years lost in vanity fairs, wrong and right were not in my possessions. But I finally engaged in Western Region Campus Lamachaur Pokhara for Electronics Engineering. Where I finally met You. The very first day YOU know I wanted to talk to you to make my friend, yes friend forever but not until more months You found me.

 

Now and Forever: I am determined now. I have got You. I have precisely defined theories of my life. I will marry You, work somewhere and make you the happiest woman in the world and me finally being the same- yes happiest man on the earth. I always opted for my forever friend and yes not a girl. But I could hardly resists. I knew I will never find a girl of my kind, my interests and same working principles. But as I began searching you dear I first found that I wont believe anything whoever says of you but I will ask yourself to get my answers. I later found many things lacking not exactly lacking but hiddden YOU still dont know some of the very god and bad ones in you my LOVE. I fully know that you are considerate, occupied, cared and cautious. Thanks to me. What I get in return- You dear just YOU. But I never wanted a kiss or a girl who can die for me because I never believe this. I wept for the whole 2 nights after I found that I was missing someone so drastically that each pulse of my wave you came in to determine is that love? But opted for good or the bad news.

I was always afraid that YOU might take the other way for just a collegemate which I never wanted. Good or bad news- yes YOU opted bad one to get the question. I never knew that You were running very badly in love with me later. So I still remember I was begging your LOVE and not as a boyfriend but as a friend yes, a boy fren can love a gal fren can't he and vice versa. Yes, dear YOU became the first one to put your love on me this way, I simply couldn't resists. I have no fantasies, no dreams of this market love, no no- no big girl friend desire. I confess. I then decided God has sent you to me, I'm yet atheist but optimistic, the later because of you.
See I don't have words to write further.

 

Ekendra's request: Please, do not ask me out of my sphere including YOU and my relation if possible. Mistrued are solutions falsified. Believe truth is stronger than the fiction. This work is under the Creative Commons Licensing Work, refer to CC logo at the right side bar of http://ekendra.blogspot.com.