Pirate and Parrot

Pirate and Parrot, oops! again 

A pirate walks into a bar with a mangy, infected parrot on his shoulder.

The bartender says, "You shouldn't be that close to something so disgusting, such a low-life animal."

The pirate says, "Arr, it's ok, he's had his shots."

Then the bartender says, "I was talking to the parrot!"

Waiting for happiness

Waiting for happiness

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'ii be more content when they are. 

After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of the stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, or when we retire. 

The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? 

Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with… ad remember that time waits for no one. 

So, stop waiting

ü  until your car or home is paid off

ü  until you get a new car or home

ü  until your kids leave the house

ü  until you go back to school

ü  until you lose 10 pounds

ü  until you gain ten pounds

ü  until you finish school

ü  until you get a divorce

ü  until you get married

ü  until you have kids

ü  until you retire

ü  until summer

ü  until spring

ü  until winter

ü  until fall

ü  until you die

There is no better time than right now to be happy.

Remember: Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

Tell no lie

Tell no lie

A distinguished looking young lady is on a flight returning from Switzerland. She finds herself seated next to a priest and asks, "Excuse me father, may I ask a favor of you?"

"Well of course Miss, what can I do for you?" he replies.

"Here's the dilemma, I purchased for myself, a superbly sophisticated electronic hair remover. I paid a lot of money for it. I really went well over the limits set forth by Customs, and I fear they will confiscate it from me. Could you perhaps secret it through Customs for me under your robes?"

"I certainly could my dear, only I must warn you I really am not ever able to lie…"

"You have such as honest face Father, surely they will never ask any questions of you," and with that she hands him the hair remover.

After landing they proceed through Customs and it becomes the father's turn in line.

"Father, do you have anything to declare?" asks the Customs' Officer.

"From the top of my head to my waist, I have nothing to declare my son."

Finding this answer a little strange the custom's officer proceeds to ask, "And from the waist to the floor, what do you have to declare?"

The Father replies, "I have a marvelous little instrument destined to be used on a woman, but which has never yet been used…"

Roaring with laughter the Customs' Offcer says, "Go right through Father. Next!"

This smile is brought to you by bloggingJokes! Browse for more jokes unlimited… bloggingJokes.blogSpot.com

Aussies “oops! Sri Lankans”

Captain Ricky Ponting insists Australia have no fear of Sri Lanka in Saturday's World Cup final despite not having faced their three leading bowlers.

Muttiah Muralitharan, Chaminda Vaas and Lasith Malinga - who have 52 wickets between them - were rested in the seven-wicket Super 8 defeat.

Winning our games as comprehensively as we have gives us a lot of confidence says Ricky Ponting. His words grow forth executed really well against them last time. They had their bowlers out but they had their full complement of batsmen and we restricted them," Ponting added.

"We just have to pick them to pieces again."

'DDLJ' Celebrates 600th Weeks in Mumbai

The Shah Rukh Khan – Kajol starrer Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge (DDLJ) entered its 600th week of continuous run at a theatre in Mumbai on April 13 – an all-time record.

 

The magic of the evergreen romance keeps pulling audiences back to the Maratha Mandir theatre in Mumbai.

 

Since its release on October 20, 1995, the movie delighted audiences who fell in love with the SRK-Kajol pairing, the fresh storyline and the lilting music. Silencing the skeptics in the industry, the movie opened to packed houses and rave reviews.

 

It was also the first Indian movie that was received well overseas by resident Indian audiences.

 

Clearly, the passage of more than 11 years since release has done nothing to dim the affection that these audiences felt for the movie, a Yashraj Films spokesperson said.

 

DDLJ was director Aditya Chopra 's first film, at the young age of 23, and his sure fire touch with the material heralded the arrival of a unique voice in Indian cinema, one who could sense the pulse of the youth, yet anchor them to their traditions and culture.

 

DDLJ went on to become one of the largest grossers in Indian film history. The film swept that year's Filmfare Awards, picking up every single award of consequence, not to mention enduring love of the audiences.

 

In 2001, DDLJ broke the exhibition record, established by the cult classic Sholay at Minerva Theatre (5 years: 1975-1980).

AAJ TAK: SABSE TEZ | Latest News From India

AAJ TAK: SABSE TEZ | Latest News From India

I don't know really. Yes, this is my denial of why one should always boost of being the best. I don't. I think aaj tak delivers latest news from India at least this much is not intruding. But aaj tak is sabse tez and sabse bada along with sabse nautanki.

Yap, hamari sanskriti mein news channel should broadcast horoscope daily and at least for an hour the news bar should roll over and over for the same monoclinic info be it infomercials. What to do aaj tak is the best in the worst? Is it?

India lost the ICC World Cup this year and news level dropped 0-1%. "Had India won, Hamari Cricket would have been another new channel our cable operators should have been providing" my little 7th grade brother throws his worst words. Jo bhi hua bura hua. A boy by his fate falls in the ditch/fall by the narrow streets in suburb New Delhi and just you know the whole lot history of the boy. Just change your channel to aajtak.

My denial to news but I prefer to watch Lemon Tree by Fool's Garden in VH1, will you join me? Think once.

Labels: Infotainment, Leisure

Googling malfunctioned @ India's biggest marriage ever

Googling malfunctioned @ India's biggest marriage ever

Google search for India's biggest marriage @ [ click here to get my googled page ] produced no valid search for me, the day my star Abishek and his part Ash wed. This was my tyro work for a blog post at Ekendra's blog but in vain  Abishek And Ash's Marriage Prediction got published, how? you got to know it.

Almost every news channel in my old cable line were bursting there loudspeakers to India's biggest marriage ever. I was concerned, are only Indians concerned or some other channels are giving briefs, surprisingly NO. I didn't watch the television after that. Later thought of Googling the marriage ceremony- I was determined to see the face of to be wed Ash- but finally I had to discover Googling malfunctioned @ India's biggest marriage ever. Mere keywords probed were marriage, india's, big, and the little 3 stars ***. 

Labels: Infotainment , Leisure

Snake Bite

"I hope I'm not poisonous," said the first snake.

"Why?" asked the second.

"Because I just bit my lip."

Worms

Worms quoted humor @ Ekendra's blog

Little Josh was brought to Dr. Gill cause he hadn't eaten anything for days. Dr. Gill offered him all the goodies he could think of. No luck. He tried a little scolding. It didn't work. A little pleading, to no avail.

Finally he sat down, faced the boy, looked him in the eye. He said, "Look young man, if you can be stubborn, so can I. You're not going anywhere until you eat something. You can have whatever you want, but only after you have eaten will you leave."

Josh just sat and glared for some time, then said "OK. I'll eat but I have some conditions. First, I'll have exactly what I want and exactly how I want it and second you'll share with me."

Dr. Gill was OK with this. He asked the child what he'd like. "Worms!" said Josh.

Dr. Gill was horrified but didn't want to back out and seem like a loser. So, he ordered a plate of worms to be brought in. "Not that many, just one," yelled Josh as he saw the plate.

So, everything other than one worm was removed. Josh then demanded that the single worm be cut into two pieces and then Dr. Gill eat half. Dr. Gill went through the worst ordeal of his life, and after finishing, barely managing to keep his cool, said, "OK, now eat!"

Josh refused as he sobbed, "No way! You ate my half!"

Abishek And Ash's Marriage Prediction

Abishek And Ash's Marriage Prediction

By: Aaadietya Pandey from http://astrology.oneindia.in/numerology/abishek-aishwarya-marriage-prediction.html

Abhishek Bachchan is born on 5th February 1976. Number 5 and 3 as per his date of birth governs him. Mercury rules number 5 and Jupiter rules Number 3. The combination of number 3 and 5 makes Abhishek a versatile actor and a jovial personality. As lovers, Mercurians (birth numbers 5) are believed to be most active and sensual types. They are loyal lovers and life partners. They live a dichotomized life i.e. they are completely different at home and out of home. They are adventurous and fond of constant thrills and excitement in real life. They like to try out all kinds of available varieties to let their relationship to prosper. As they relish spontananeity, they don't like lovers who are slow and fixed in method and attitude. Sexually, new places and positions keep them mentally and physically pleased. They start feeling bottled if their lover cannot provide constant variety. Even though change is the only constant thing in life they must avoid frequent changes that might trouble their mate.

 

 

From February 2006, Abhishek is running under the Autonomous Annual Ruling of number 6. This is the ruling of Venus - the god of love. In numerology this ruling is believed to be most auspicious for marriage. As the ruling began in February, rumors about Abhishek's marriage being fixed, occupied the headlines. Venus is most powerful in the month of September. Hence, the marriage was nearly fixed in September. And I can clearly predict that Abhishek will be married in the First Quarter of 2007.

Aishwarya Rai is born on 1st November 1973. Numbers 1 and 5 as per her date of birth governs her. Number 1 is ruled by the mighty Sun and Mercury rules Number 5. The combination of number 1 and 5 makes Aishwarya's career highly unstable. One hit movie is followed by a series of Flops. This will continue throughout her life. As lovers, people ruled by Sun are quite egoistic and demand a lot of respect from their partners. At times they are hyper-emotional while at other times they might behave ruthlessly. They take decisions in haste and regret later.

In 2004, I had guided Aishwarya & Viveik on their Kanpur visit and predicted clearly that Aishwarya & Viveik will not continue for long. And I predicted in Times of India that I don't see their relationship converting to marriage at all because when it comes to marriage Aishwarya lacks the capability to take on the responsibilities with a cool head because of her number 5.

Compatibility between the two: Number 5 is mostly compatible with number 1 and 2. Abhishek being number 5 is perfectly compatible with Aishwarya who is ruled by number 1. Compatibility between number 1 and 5 is that of Fire and Air. Both are individualistic and both have varied likes and dislikes but both can go a long way in the marital relationship. Together, they make a very strong bond, which can be seen, highly progressive for the family as well as the career of both. Their compatibility quotient as per Numerology is 7.9 out of 10 which is believed to be one of the best. However, Aishwarya needs to make sure that she controls her dominating temperament as this can be the only factor responsible for marital discord if ever it takes place. According to numerology Aishwarya is influenced by Neptune, which clearly shows that she will marry a boy younger to her and her husband must also be from the glamour world. Hence, I don't see any reason why the couple cannot get married.

As Aishwarya is running under the Autonomous Annual ruling of number 2 from November 2006, it shows a bit of slow down on the career front and being blessed with the conjugal bliss within 6 months from November'06.

To conclude, I can say with 100% confidence that this pair will prove to be one of the best couples of Bollywood in the coming future.

History of Medicine

For people in a hurry, we have compiled this short history of medicine, using as an example the treatment of that common ailment, the ear ache.

2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.

1000 A.D. - That root is heathen, say this prayer.

1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.

1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.

1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.

2006 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.

From: http://bloggingjokes.blogspot.com/2006_07_16_archive.html

Three Women Are About to be Executed

Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a
redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward,
and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and
looks around. She manages to escape.

The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner
asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner
shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." The redhead then screams, "tornado!!"
Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes
execution.

By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The
guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last
requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . .
Aim . . ."

The blonde shouts, "fire!!"

You Still Know You're a Tech Geek When...

You Still Know You're a Tech Geek When...
- When you convince yourself that Tetris really does improve eye-hand coordination.

 

- When the radio traffic reporter talks about a backup caused by a crash, and you correct her that a backup is good protection in case of a crash.

 

- When floppy drive applies more to your love life, and hard drive to your machines.

 

- When you call "*.*" star-dot-star.

 

- When you can do hexadecimal arithimatic in your head.

 

- When your wife goes to the market for some macintosh apples, and you correct her, "No, dear, it's 'Apple Macintosh'."

 

- When your wife says "If you don't turn off that stupid machine and come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for for omitting the else clause.

नया साल 2064 को हार्दिक मंगलमय शुभकामना, एकेंद्रको तर्फ बाट

 

 

नया साल 2064 को  हार्दिक मंगलमय शुभकामना, एकेंद्रको तर्फ बाट

Is God Logical?

Apologetics is all what I was fascinated as I read between lines of the apologetics. The goodness lies here http://www.truthnet.org/Christianity/Apologetics/Godlogical3/ . To list a few of metaphorical senses explore the world of DNA, God, Logical, evidence, Truth, Hume, Bible, Einstein, Theory of Relativity, Design argument, teleological, first cause, Behe at the link. I am sure you will enjoy. The extract from the same is as:

When we examine the issue of moral relativity, we arrive at door or of truth. The whole issue of morality is based on the source and reality of truth.  What is truth?  If truth is subjective then morality is subjective. If truth is objective then there are moral absolutes. Subjective truth, truth is subject to the possessor is illogical.  Objective truth, the objective correspondence of what is real, corresponding to reality.  What is source for this reality, for this truth? We know we exist, and we are aware of our existence.   Because we can see children being born and ourselves getting older, it is logical to conclude there is a beginning, "A Cause", to our existence.  We can also observe the same in the animal world.  Animals are born and die; they too must have a starting point of existence.   The necessity for a cause leads us to another "First Principle" the need for cause;

The principle of causality: Only being can cause being. Nothing does not exist, and only what exists can cause existence, since the concept of "Cause" implies an existing thing that has the power to effect another. From absolutely nothing comes absolutely nothing.

Every thing that comes to be must have a cause.  If you take a candle and light it, it will burn for a limited amount of time until its potential energy is burned.  The heat, the candle emits is similar to the heat the sun emits. The fact that the candle's energy source is finite demonstrates the need for cause.  There was a cause for the candle and their will be an end to the candle. The heat emitted from the Sun is contingent (dependent) on the finite (limited) energy contained in the Sun.

This demonstrates the Sun is also finite, there was, a cause, for the Sun to exist.  This same principle is out throughout the whole universe.  The farthest galaxies emitting finite energy have a point they were turned on, "A cause" for their existence.

Sir Francis Bacon (1561-1626) the father of modern science said, "True knowledge is knowledge by causes." If the Universe is finite and had a beginning, then it would need to have a cause—if causality is a valid principle. A flaw in the causality principle would be equivalent to having a fatal crack in the foundation of science.   David Hume, (1711-1776) the skeptic admitted, it is absurd to deny the principle of cause.

Sheryl Crow Begins Global Warming Tour

Singer Sheryl Crow began a bus tour of U.S. colleges to raise awareness about global warming on Monday, one of several high-profile celebrities to take up the cause of climate change.

Crow, a Grammy award winning singer/songwriter, will speak about the issue and sing at the college stops. "I am here because the more I learn about global warming the more I feel compelled to do something in my own way whatever that is," she told reporters at Southern Methodist University in Dallas as the tour began. Accompanied by global warming activist Laurie David, Crow is traveling in a biodiesel-powered bus to university campuses with a final stop in Washington for Earth Day on April 22.
Texas was chosen as the starting point because it leads all U.S. states in fossil fuel emissions, with its heavy industry and love affair with big pick-up trucks. Other celebrities such as Leonardo DiCaprio, Robert Redford and Daryl Hannah have joined the campaign to reduce fossil fuel emissions and curb climate change.

Former Vice President Al Gore has helped make the issue fashionable with his Oscar-winning documentary "An Inconvenient Truth."

Diversity Visa victims on fast-unto-death

Diversity Visa victims on fast-unto-death 
 
Seven members of the American Diversity Visa Victims Association today decided to go on fast-unto-death outside American Embassy in Panipokhari.
"The victims want that the American Embassy refund the money they spent to appear for the visa interview, along with necessary compensation," the DV victims said in a press conference organised today.

Ghanashyam Basyal, president of the ADVVA, said, "We don't want American visa. If people think that we are protesting to get the visa, they are wrong. We are against the American policy of rejecting Nepalis' visas without tendering any reasons."

He said the embassy made each of them spend Rs 55,000 for the visa and rejected it without sufficient ground. "There are some families with six members whose spent around Rs 330,000 but none of them got a visa," he added.

"Our efforts to talk to the embassy officials and the Nepal government went in vain. Their apathy has compelled the victims to go on fast-unto-death," said Govinda Adhikari, vice-president of the ADVVA. He said the government and the American Embassy would be responsible if something happens to those on fast. "We tried our best to make them understand our problem, but to no avail. We have enough evidence to prove that we are right," he added.

While, Sharon Hudson-Jean, acting public relation officer of the An American Embassy official, when contacted, said the embassy had already made it clear to the concerned people that compensation could not be granted. She added that the embassy wants them not to go on hunger strike. "We don't want any harm to their health," she said.

The DV victims started their protest in October. For two months they organised sit-in outside the American Embassy and since December 26 they had been on 24-hour relay fast.

NTC decreases internet tariff

Nepal Telecom NT's worst gone service Internet Serivice tariff have been revised, you can visit more on details at http://www.ntc.net.np/tariff/int_tariff_new.php

 

Among many valuable services provided by The Company, NEPAL TELECOM INTERNET SERVICE is now available to all class of citizens, from MECHI TO MAHAKALI. In pursing the goal in extending and improve its service making it more versatile, up-to-date and efficient, Internet Dialup can be accessed by Local Dialing.

 

Home Surfing Package:
This package offers National Roaming facility. The user can login from 7.00 PM night to 8.00 AM next day morning. This is a single user package.

Type Service	1 month	3 month	6 month	1 year
Home Surfing	250.00	550.00	1000.00	1800.00

Priyanka to Flag off Malaysian Grand Prix

Priyanka to Flag off Malaysian Grand Prix 
  
Bollywood actress, Priyanka Chopra, after winning the hearts and accolades of thousands of Malaysian's with her stunning performance at the Zee Cine Awards at Genting, Malaysia, will be back in the island country on April 6th to flag off the Malaysian Grand Prix 2007, with Hollywood legends Leonardo Di Caprio and Steven Spielberg.

 

Priyanka will grace the 'Fantasy Gala' dinner in august company of the Prime Minister of Malaysia, F1 racers and leading stars of the Malaysian film & music industry as well local & regional socialites. The Petronas Malaysian Grand Prix Fantasy Gala 2007 is the ultimate in Formula 1 hospitality, elegance and glamour.

 

Said an excited Priyanka, "I am very excited to be invited to Malaysia for such a grand event, especially since I just came back last week after the awards function and that most of my last year was spent shooting here. Moreover the Prime Minister of Malaysia has extended his invitation to be a part of the flag off…I feel very humbled. I am really looking forward to meet everyone there!"

 

The Fantasy Gala dinner will mark the beginning of the race weekend on the evening of Friday, 6th April 2007 at the Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre.

 

 

Tigress Rakhi Sawant joins PETA!

 

 

After famous actresses like Shilpa Shetty and Yana Gupta, it is now the turn of Bollywood item girl Rakhi Sawant to join a PETA campaign against cruelty to animals.

Sawant appeared in the make up of a tigress in a cage to spread the message of stopping cruelty on animals at circuses.

She was campaigning for PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), the largest animal rights organisation in the world.

"The governments should pay attention towards the misery of animals as well and do more to protect their rights. The atrocities committed upon them should be refrained. I have come here to support the Animals' Protection Act of PETA and their cause towards something good," said Sawant.

Rakhi apparently shot to fame after the success of her hit item numbers like 'Mirchi' and 'Pardesia'.

She also hit the news circuit after the infamous Mika episode and then her appearance in the Indian version of the hit European series Big Boss.

Parents Worst Nightmare

 

Dear Mother and Dad:

It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been remiss in writing and am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. You are not to read any further unless you are sitting down... Okay?

Well, then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it caught fire shortly after my arrival, are pretty well healed now. I only spent two weeks in the hospital and now I can see almost normally and only get three headaches a day.

Fortunately the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by an attendant at the gas station near the dorm and he was the one who called the Fire Department and the ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital, and since I had nowhere to live because of the burnt-out dorm, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him. It's really a basement room, but it is kind of cute. He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to get married. We haven't set the exact date yet, but it will be before my pregnancy begins to show.

Yes, Mother and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how much you are looking forward to being grandparents and I know you will welcome the baby and give it the same love and devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a child. The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has some minor infection which prevents us from passing our premarital blood tests and I carelessly caught it from him. This will soon clear up with the penicillin injections I am now taking daily.

I know you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind and although not well educated, he is ambtious. Although he is of a different race and religion than ours, I know you expressed tolerence will not permit you to be bothered by the fact that his skin color is somewhat darker than ours. I am sure you will love him as I do. His family background is good, too for I am told that his father is an important gunbearer in the village in Africa from which he comes.

Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was no dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion or skull fracture, I was not in the hospital, I am not pregnant, I am not engaged, I do not have syphillis and there is no boyfriend in my life. However, I am getting a "D" in History and an "F" in Science, and I wanted you to see these marks in the proper perspective.

Your loving daughter, Dorothy

Quotes you Quote 'em

:: Share World Blog by Ekendra ::
   http://ekendra.blogspot.com

 

One of the most adventurous things left us is to go to bed. For no one can lay a hand on our dreams.

 

Do not look back. Do not dream about the future either. Your duty, your reward, your destiny are here and right now.

 

There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.
 
Everything has been said before, but since nobody listens we have to keep going back and beginning all over again.
 
Doing what's right is not the problem. It is knowing what is right.
 
A man who fears suffering is already suffering from what he fears.

 

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

 

All who have accomplished great things have had a great aim, have fixed their gaze on a goal which was high, one which sometimes seemed impossible.
 
Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.

 

Power Principle : If you aren't making mistakes, you aren't making progress!

 

What it takes to discourage you, is in direct correlation to the amount of belief you have in yourself.

 

Love, by reason of its passion, destroys the inbetween which relates us to and separates us from the other.

 

:: Share World Blog by Ekendra ::
    http://ekendra.blogspot.com

The Last King of Scotland : Rivetingly Enjoyable

In an incredible twist of fate, a Scottish doctor James McAvoy on a Ugandan medical mission becomes irreversibly entangled with one of the world's most barbaric figures: Idi Amin (Forest Whitaker). Impressed by Dr Garrigan's brazen attitude in a moment of crisis, the newly self-appointed Ugandan President Amin hand picks him as his personal physician and closest confidant. Though Garrigan is at first flattered and fascinated by his new position, he soon awakens to Amin's savagery- and his own complicity in it. Horror and betrayal ensue as Garrigan tries to right his wrongs and escape Uganda alive.

Directed by Academy Award Winning co-actor Kevin MacDonald, The Last King of Scotland became something that entangled by love but still perplexed is whether she is waiting or not. Rivetingly enjoyable, Heart pounding brilliant, a Stunning achievement, and sensational all for the picture.

Manju's getting up a new year!

Many amny happy returns of the day, my friend Manju Gaudel. This has been a day twist from April 1 when we wished her happy birthday the previous year!

Bright future, lustre in life and what else.....