A Penthouse in Heaven : Thursday Humors

A Penthouse in Heaven

The Pope dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, Saint Peter shows him to his new quarters which turn out to be a tiny one bedroom apartment.
The Pope is horrified and wants to know why he doesn't have the penthouse apartment, which is huge.
Saint Peter informs him that the resident of the penthouse is a lawyer.
"A lawyer," says the Pope. "But I'm the Pope, surely I'm more important."
"With respect Sir," says Saint Peter, "We have lots of Pope's up here, but we only have ONE lawyer!"

 

God the Parent

Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to God's kids.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was: "Don't."
"Don't what?" Adam asked.
"Don't eat the Forbidden Fruit." God replied.
"Forbidden fruit? We got Forbidden Fruit? Hey, Eve..we got Forbidden Fruit!"
"No way!"
"Where?"
"Don't eat that fruit!" said God.
"Why?"
"Because I am your Creator and I said so!" said God, wondering why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants.
A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and was angry.
"Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" the 'First Parent' asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?"
"I dunno," Eve answered.
"She started it!" Adam said.
"Did not!"
"DID so!"
"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own...thus the pattern was set, and it has never changed.