Simple Wish

 

I have many dreams and ambitions, many hopes and aspirations. All of them are grand. I want to do this, and that.... There are so things I want to do and achieve. I want to be at the top of the world. Sometimes I get obsessed with these thoughts.

 

However, when I see her or when I think of her, all that I wish for is to be able to become a decent person so that I can be worthy of her. All I want is perhaps for her to feel for me what I feel for her. That's all. I don't care about being a king, a prince, a president - none of that. I don't want to be rich or famous, either.

If ever I have seen an angel or if I come close to seeing one in the future, I know it would look like her. That angel would also have her voice. Maybe she is an angel.

She has a very attrative spirit. But really, most of what she is cannot be described by what this world has to offer. Her beauty and her poise cannot be contained by what is worldly and earthly. However, I guess that is a limitation that we all have to accept. Thus I shall do by best to describe her.

She is someone whom, after the first meeting, we want to keep meeting and meeting. She has a beautiful and subtle energy which is also strong and affective. There is brightness in her quietude. There is a glow in her aura. She reminds me of what goodness means.

Over the years, I have grown very cynical, morose, hard-bitten and nihilistic. But when I am around her, physically or in my thoughts, I feel myself melting. However, I don't know whether I can trust myself. I don't know if who or what I am is real( of course the dabate of reality is an entire entity by itself ).

I am narcissistic yet in front of her I see all my flaws. My imperfections become so visible, and I don't like it when that happens. I feel so imperfect and vulnerable.

I see her as a perfect being ( and I guess many do too). However, she seems so unware, so insouciant about her own perfection. Maybe being a perfect being precludes her own consciousness of her perfection. I think that is it.

Because of her, I now have begun to wish that I can be a better person - if not, just decent. She has shown me the strength of decency. She has shown me the loveliness of simplicity.

 

Many thanks for littlebobdog40@hotmail.com, you feel that something is going with this post please let me know, I am ready for the cut off. Sorry for prior info.